Straight, No Chase-r

In recent news, I've closed an account (old WaMu turned Chase-Bankenstein - read: "Frankenstein") since they were set on charging me if I didn't direct deposit a certain amount or keep a large balance.

Hilarity ensued at the realization of the personal banker that I am not such a high roller on paper as I believe I am in my head.

I walk into the bank during low volume hours. I was going to take all of my two-digit-and-change dollars out and before I could reveal my name, bank account number or balance, the personal banker took great pains to inquire as to why and how come and how could I possibly operate without a bank. I was not in the mood to discuss my personal banking and even got mildly annoyed when he inquired as to which other bank(s) I am using. I guess I look young or inexperienced since he didn't think I had heard of, let alone bank at, other banks.

I bristled at his question and told him I'd really rather not say. Thinking all the while, "Pshaw, I'm leaving your bank, dude. No exit interview needed for this chick." He responded to my secretive nature by stating that "the entire banking industry is changing and due to laws enacted last year, no banks will have free checking." Um, WHAT?!? It was difficult to keep my tongue from giving him a swift lashing.

Here's my issue with his statement: the entire industry of banks wrote mortgages they knew were risky, then when these high risk loans came back to bite them, they (and their exec boards) were BAILED OUT by the government (read = taxpayers). Now this clown wants to blame the laws that the government imposed to keep banks on the up-and-up on the fact that they're charging account-holders fees. Excuse me, Mr. Banker - your firm lost money due to irresponsible lending practices and your balance sheet hasn't added up over the last couple years. You're trying to up your revenue and decide to charge the people who give you their money. That's not the law's fault. That's your fault.

Upon holding my tongue and keeping my attitude in check, I also thought about the fact that taking over WaMu with all of its freeloading (or non-fee-loading) customers with inactive or low-balance accounts was no feather in Chase's cap. Cutting us all free, much like credit card companies did a few years back, is the logical choice when a sinking ship needs to throw something overboard. Just like then, I am an unattractive customer.

Back to the action-packed visit: After looking up my meager account, things became routine and he proceeded to cash me out and even handed over his business card "in case he could ever help with anything." Nice gesture, but as he reached over, I caught his name tag on his lapel which happened to be the same as a regular Joe recently found to be a killer. "Um, no thanks, man," I thought but saved both of us the embarrassment of recounting how people may react at his poor name.

"There *was* nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys." - Office Space

Walking out, I thought about how proud my Grandpa would be. I once accompanied him into a bank that was trying to set balance limits on his accounts. Of course, he had much more dough that I was extracting from Chase-enstein, but I am sure he was proud of me nonetheless. Professionally and diplomatically, his exact words to the teller that day were, "You're not going to tell me what to do with my money." Walking out with the cash that day, he told my little middle-school brain that cash is king and what you've earned and saved will always be yours.

I only wish now that I had him write that down and laminate it for times in the future when I would need it.

Named-after-a-killer-man did not know how to handle my attitude. I can only assume he'd know how to handle a note from Grandpa.

A late fee and a revelation

So I have a late fee since I haven't paid my one (count it, people, ONE!!!!) actively used credit card on time. I seriously don't have a clue what happened. You would think with only one card, I would remember to pay on time and in full. Oh well. I will call them tonight and work something out. I checked online and the last time I paid late (and called and got the late charge taken off) was after Christmas 2008. January, to be exact. So at least it's not recent.

In other news, I was looking through some old photos of myself and realized that I don't look the same as before. Before what? Before everything. The layoff, the family issues, the pain, the stress, the sleeping too much replaced by the sleeping too little, the not eating right, the not exercising. My skin doesn't glow anymore, my hair is blah. In a way, everything that has happened to me could not go unnoticed to my appearance. I just didn't realize how much it had.

I used to look at people like me and think "Gosh, what happened?" Life, that's what happens.

I got excited about something so small this weekend: planning it and making choices. It felt so foreign yet so good. I think when my life became dictated by everyone else, I sort of gave up making choices and making myself feel better. I guess that should be my goal for the next month: Make more decisions and feel more in control of my life and thus, happier.

No winning, but no losing either

Well, I didn't win.

I had to close the FIA card. However, the last customer service rep I spoke with took some pity on me and decided to move over most of the available credit to another card I have that is also linked to their company (oy... so many cards, so few companies). So I will have a closed (albeit by the consumer) card on my record, but still maintain the amount of available credit.

So I guess I haven't lost anything, either.

Card Troubles

Well, it's happened. I was sent a notice late last year and now it's taking effect.

My FIA card is charging an annual fee.

I have not gone down peacefully.

I've been on the phone with six (yes, SIX) different "customer service associates"who claim different stories for why my card was even chosen for an annual fee. Some say it's because I don't have accounts with the bank. Some say "someone else makes that decision" and then when I ask to be forwarded to that person or people, they somehow can't figure out where to send me. Some say they have no clue why my card was chosen and side with me on the reasoning that I don't deserve a fee. Still others claim less than 1% of users were chosen to pass extra charges onto. (Lucky ME! I don't win anything except the very best prizes)

They all tell me I will have to close the account to see the fee disappear. Oy vey.

Let's clear some things up, first of all. (this is similar to my nicely phrased rant to all of these "customer service associates":

- I have great credit (okay, not perfect, but nothing absolutely terrible)

- I use this card (as in, all the time)

- I've paid interest in the low double digits on this card since I've had it

- I've had this card for over 10 years (it was one of my very first)

- This card does not offer any benefits (the whole point of an annual fee)

- I don't usually pay this card off every month

- FIA makes more money on my interest each year than they would with my annual fee

I don't want to close this account, because I have a high available balance and a 10 year track record. Differing reports online tell me it won't ding my credit score that badly or it will take a while for any dinging to seriously affect my score. I just don't want to be forced into closing an account.

One service representative tried to break the annual fee down into months and tell me it "isn't really that much". I nearly died. My response was along the lines of: "Well, hey why don't we break it down into days or minutes or even seconds... it's still the same amount per year!!" Are these people really that dense? It's as though she was trying to make me feel stupid for arguing about "so little an amount". Of course, I had to use her own argument against her and said "Well, if it's such a small amount, why do I have to pay it? Why doesn't FIA pay it for me?" To which she daftly replied: "This is our policy on annual fees". I swear I could hear a breeze blow through her brain. She was just that dumb. Or just that bad at customer service.

I just want to WIN. It's not really even about the annual fee, now. It's about breaking them down.

If I cannot win and I have to close this account. I vow to never EVER use FIA again. I got their card when I was young and impressionable (a market they're losing out on now). They dropped me when they didn't care for me anymore (aka: couldn't make enough money off of me). My only move after 'losing' would be to boycott them. For the rest of my wonderful life.

The Big Level Off (or Current Net Worth Approximation)

After updating this month's net worth, my graph is beginning to level off. Up 0.59% from last month. Paying off (mostly all of) my credit cards has certainly decreased my liabilities (yay!). My retirement account depreciated a bit. Hmm... It's currently at a previous employer and I'm not sure what I want to do with it.

I remember calling the retirement company and asking if I had to make a decision by a certain date or forfeit my funds. Upon hearing that I didn't have to make a decision, I literally squealed. No joke. The woman on the other end must have thought I was crazy. I guess I like not having to make serious decisions on someone else's timeline. I like to make decisions when I want to. Deciding when to make this is all the fun!

Soon, there will be a new feature to my blog. It will stay a secret for now (it's still in the works). But it will provide more of a peek into my personal life and my goals and dreams. I can't wait to surprise you!

Not quite done yet...

I was so excited to have paid off my credit cards, I forgot about the residual interest monster. Creeping in to ruin my perfect zero balances. Arriving in light-as-air envelopes. There's no way to escape them. They come in small one and two digit numbers. But they'll make you whip out a check of log in once more to the card site after you thought you were all done.

So far today, I've called three companies and had the best luck with Capital One. $20-something: poof! Gone! It appears I perform better earlier in the day with women rather than later in the day with men. Some of them are so matter-of-fact: "That's legitimate interest... you're supposed to pay that." I'm doing my best to act dumb to get out of these little inconveniences. I know it may still be my responsibility, but I am willing to keep calling. To reach a woman. Earlier in the day. Who will erase them. Forever.

In other news, I was alerted by Mint that I had a $99 annual fee on a completely different card. Interesting. I don't pay annual fees. Especially on cards without points or miles or doodads. What's the point? Again, I reached a man (a gruff man, at that) who proclaimed that I was sent a notice back in October to the effect of this change. After confirming my address with me, he insisted that I must have received it. I demanded that I heard nothing of the sort. In all honesty, the mail he's talking about probably got shuffled away with all of those resumes and job offers. I had bigger fish to fry at that time.

So I will have to pay off and close that account. Bummer. I will try to call tomorrow and reach a woman or a manager and wave my long credit history in their faces. The only caveat is this card used to be with my bank and then it was sold to another creditor. So they don't know of my long history and clout with the bank. This could get ugly.

Goals for 2010

I'm jumping on the bandwagon and creating goals.

[I guess if all the other bloggers were jumping off their proverbial bridges, so then would I]

I don't usually do this sort of thing, especially in the financial realm. Well, I have more short-term goals. Such as, get a paycheck, pay my bills, get a paycheck, pay my bills. I do believe goals would help me reach my full (financial) potential, though.

Backstory: Before attending a recent wedding, I read up on some blogs about the exorbitant costs involved in destination weddings. So I decided to budget and save the amount I needed in cash before charging up a card. It was fun to put together the spreadsheet, figure out the amounts for the different travel options and have an exact number to aim at saving. While I didn't reach my goal of saving the entire amount (bummer! but I got very close), it was actually a fun challenge to see how much I frugalize to make my budgeted goal.

Side note: friend and I are not that close anymore and it's really fun to vent (quietly to myself) the exact amount I spent being there for her on her special day while she's not really here for me now. Just a tip for the future, ladies (and gents!).

So here goes my fun goals!

Personal Savings
I would like to have at least $15,000 in personal savings at the end of the year. This would be roughly an 8-12 month emergency fund.

Credit Card Debt
I will not accrue any credit card debt for this calendar year. (barring any emergencies!)
I will use cash as much as humanly possible.

Student Loans
I will pay off at least half of my student loans ($9k) by the end of this year.

There. That should give me something to measure in 12 months.

As for personal goals, here are what I am aiming for:

Lose Weight
Who isn't listing this one? okay, you with your hand up, I officially hate you!

Make New Friends
This may be hard to balance with my financial goals since friendships do seem to leak my funds. (gifts, lunches, dinners, etc.)

Be a Better Friend to Those Who Are Already My Friend
As easy as a phone call, as hard as just being there. I need to reward those who already love me.

Simplify Life
I sometimes make it a habit to make things harder for myself, instead of easier. Here's a reminder to not torture myself this year.

Organize my Surroundings
This is the work that will lead to simplifying my life. I am always losing things and waste valuable time searching for the most inane things. Why not just organize ahead of time to avoid this wasted time and energy? Methinks others do this already. I was just born and bred to be messy and somewhat enjoy the challenge (but certainly not the stress) of having to find things in a pressured situation.

Okay, so wow. Those personal ones are not very measurable. Perhaps I should set up monthly milestones to achieve for those.

Updated NetworthIQ

Today's NetworthIQ update is the official last update with all of my credit cards unpaid. Tomorrow (read: next month), the numbers will begin to look differently.

They will begin to be real.

Like a band-aid...

I woke up this morning and didn't want to go through it anymore. I didn't want to search for credit cards and past bills and remember to log-in and pay the minimum amount. I didn't want to log my progress in a notebook or put reminders for bills due on my calendar online. I wanted it done. I wanted them gone. In the past two months, I've received more "shut down your account or risk having an inflated apr" notices. Some, from my longest held credit cards. I felt like saying, "I thought you were my friends."

You arrived in the mail when I was at college and didn't get any other snail mail. You had fancy forms to fill out that made me feel like an adult. You lured me in and now, on the cusp of my seeming adulthood, you want to banish me from your record. Or sear me with a high apr. I'm not your piece of meat to play with. I understand your ways. I realize by me paying minimums and not really spending anymore, I'm not adding to your bottom line. I'm not making any one of your fat cat's parachutes a little more golden.

So I took them all and like a band-aid, ripped them all off. "Paid in full" is what will come to my little mailbox now. I have switched the roles. I have the leverage now. I will not use you anymore for my silly happiness. I will restrict myself to the bare essentials and enjoy myself by doing so. Your crutch is useless to me now. I don't even know where all of my cards are right now. True, this is not incredibly responsible, but in a way, it is. Instead of freezing them in a block of ice, I've taken to "losing them" around my house (really hiding them) so I cannot access them. When I do run into them, it's usually not during an online spending spree urge or trip to the mall.

Just in time for credit companies to make millions on others who overspent for the holidays, I will be rich with the free time and worry-free mentality that paying them all off has granted me.

There is no better late Christmas present.

Happily Employed

For anyone out there (Bueller? Bueller?) I have not died or dropped off the face of the earth.

I got a job!

And it's been great and wonderful and busy and invigorating. I have responsibilities and deadlines and tasks and co-workers. Wonderful co-workers. Not perfect, but much much better than the last.

I have an income now, but I am wary of spending any pennies. I've read that our generation will more than likely keep its frugal spending habits, even after this economic situation rebalances. That may make someone sad or upset, but it makes me happy. I feel that's what I'm doing now: not overdoing it. In a good way.

However, there are days and nights when I harken back to those endless days of unemployment. Sort of how kids dream about the summer that flew by too fast when they're back to the grind of school. I knew I would miss it, but I did enjoy it while it lasted.

Doubly Bad News

Bad News #1: I didn't get an offer from my last round of interviews. It was slightly confusing, since [I feel] I fit the job description to a tee. Guess not. Perhaps it was an inside deal where someone was already favored. Regardless, the interviews went extremely well and I'm more prepared for the next ones. [crossing fingers that there will be next ones]

Bad News #2: Mint.com is being bought out by Intuit. Story here. The consensus is that they will start charging for the services since Intuit only went gratis since Mint came on the scene. Not good for my pocketbook and not good for my financial planning. I LOVE Mint. It works well with planning financial goals, seeing them achieved, as well as tracking down specific amounts and dates for purchases when I can't find receipts. Really bumming me out right now, Intuit. [adding them to my "list"]

Here's some good news to counter the bad: I was under the impression that I had missed deadlines [for everything] including Cobra, 401(k) disbursement, etc. Not so. The worrying ended today when I finally got through to said people via phone. Also good news to know for the future: I need to file my mail once it comes in, since my ill-knowledge of deadlines and due dates is directly related to that.

Debt Update (or not)

I currently have enough cash to pay off my credit cards, however I still haven't found a job. Part of me really wishes I would have paid them off like ripping off a band-aid back when I was still employed. I haven't been charging much of anything. It's just really hard to let go of all that cash in the bank without even a slight promise of having anywhere near what I was making at my last position.

I've thought about stair-stepping them and paying one off each month/2-weeks. Same thing, just drawn out. Or maybe that would be torture.

Meanwhile, all the credit card companies are enjoying my interest payments. I need to just make the decision and go with it.

Protect Yourself, Capital One

Capital One called me yesterday, the same nitwits I wrote about here.

It seems I never enrolled in their glorious panacea called "payment protection program". I stopped this pathetic excuse for a telemarketer dead in his tracks.

Capital One: Now I'm not trying to sell you anything...
ME: (Yeah, right)
CO: This is meant for your protection should you ever... blah blah blah
ME: (Interrupting) Sir, with all due respect, I've already lost my job so I don't even qualify to sign up right now. I've read all about your program apparently too late in the game since I was to sign up before I was notified of my layoff. Thanks but no thanks.
CO: Um, (loooong pause) (I can imagine him scanning his notes for the correct response line) okay, you're correct. Um, well, thank you for providing me that information.

THANK YOU??? WTF? I basically told you about your sorry-excuse-for-a-company's "protection" plan and you thank me? Get real. A nice "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that" or "My condolences" would suffice. Apparently Capital One is intent on calling those lucky people with jobs... and have not adjusted their calling dialogue sheets to reflect the changing times with respect to unemployment.

After hanging up after an awkward pause, I felt all puffed up and empowered. I told him ... except for the fact that he said "for providing me that information" ... Yikes... are they going to put that down on my card record and raise my interest rate or lower my limit? I had put off informing any cards on the likelihood I would be gainfully employed before I had to.

This only gives me more reason to pay off my cards as soon as possible.

Still, some idiot stranger somewhere has information on me that I'd rather him not.

Grit, Spit and Heart

I've been mulling over my credit card debts and calling the companies to lower APRs (which have all raised into mostly double digits in the last month). I want my debts gone. Completely. It will take all of $14k. I have $13k currently in cash. I'm willing to part with $12k to not receive another crazy your-minimum-payment-is-less-than-your-finance-charge credit card bill.

What bugs me the most is that I am smarter than these credit companies. They want me to believe that this APR rate hike is a company-wide objective. They want me to pay more than the minimums each month or raise my rates. I know credit is not the way to go. Unforeseen circumstances got me into this mess. And with my past 3 months of hoarding cash, I've been able to build a pile.

While it's hard to see that pile diminish in a second... it will be harder to pay interest in double digits on my credit cards for the foreseeable future.

I don't have a job yet - that's the scary part. But I know whatever happens, I will have a job and I will be able to support myself. There's just no reason to support the credit card companies as well.

When I told one of the card reps I called that I didn't want to pay off the full balance, since they would probably lower the credit limit or close the account after a few months of inactivity said, "Oh, we never close accounts! Just be sure to use your card every so often." Like hell! I love how they want to dictate my spending habits to me. This card company was profiled in the media for closing accounts earlier this year due to inactivity. Given the choice between a closed account and a double digit interest payment, I'd chose the former.

All of my life, I've negotiated my way out of paying bank fees, checking fees, late fees and overlimit fees. I'm no sucker.

I will work like a dog to pay cash for everything from here on out. I have more grit, spit and heart in me than all of those credit and banking companies combined. And I'm not afraid to show them who's boss over her money.

Last Week

It's here: the last 40 hours of my (hopefully not) last job.

I feel paralyzed by all of the decisions left to be made. When to cut the cable and home phone? When to get a roommate? When to just take any ole hourly position to cover bills and rent?

I'm trying to take things day by day and realize that nothing has to happen all at once. Don't get me wrong: I would do all of these things tomorrow if I knew I would not have a job for the next year. The only thing is, I may find a job in the next week and then I'd have to put up with a roommate, a commitment to another job or a re-installation appointment with the cable company (I know, not the *worst* thing in the world!). I keep thinking about my ancestors and how they lived (and thrived!) through the Great Depression. I just have to have heart and strength like they did.

Wrapping up things at a job is just as depressing as my future prospects. I shouldn't care but I know that once I leave everything that goes (or went) haywire will be chalked up to my existence within the company. I've seen it happen before at this and other firms and it's truly a travesty. "Let's all talk about the person who left as though we never should have hired them!" Especially when it's the person who hired them talking. Some things will never change, though. And the competitive nature with which people seek out information on the employee who left and then trade it like some ancient spice in old Europe. As though it makes them more valuable to be speaking with or cyber-stalking this person through social networking sites. Airing their laundry for the office and speaking about what they would do in any certain situation. While at the same time, they were the badge of honor of still being with said company. As though their staying-on has anything to do with their intelligence, strategy or worth. Despicable, yes. Unavoidable, unfortunately yes. Should I even give this a second thought? NO!!

I need to forget about my current dilemma and hit the ground running. I need to keep driving myself toward future success. That's the only way I will make something for myself - of myself - is to focus on myself and just let everything else just fade away.

Finally out of the red! (well, sort of)

Technically, I am still about $14k in credit card debt, but Mint.com says my bottom line net worth is a cool $1,300. WOW. I'm chalking this up to a combo meal containing the following:

• I have been hoarding cash (like a krazy person - yes, krazy with a "k")
• Greatly reduced spending on my credit cards/spending at all (couponing is now a hobby, it's replaced clothes shopping and mindless eating!)
• And my 401(k) has been increasing in value with the recent upticks in the market

I should be happy, but I still have all that debt hanging over me.

I've been thinking about taking the (almost) $10k in cash I have and just wiping out the majority of my debt. This scares me because I still haven't had any interviews and don't have any job offers. And I have less than two months to go before I have to jump off the cliff of uncertainty! In a perfect world, I would pay off all of my debt and then go cash-only. However, if I don't have a job(s) lined up for income, then I will end up going back on the credit cards. And if I pay them all off, the card companies may lower my limits or shut down my cards - though I do believe this is better than the alternative: having them jack up the rates while I'm still carrying balances and not having any money to pay them down.

Of all the times in my life, I really wish I had a crystal ball right now. Or at least a Fairy Godmother. I truly can not stand making my own decisions.

Something's Gotta Give

So my expenses have diminished since finding out I'll be laid off. Not dramatically so. But I've definitely been more mindful of my spending. In a normal month, my current expenses are totaling around $2,100, including paying minimums on my credit cards. 

Broken out: 

- Rent: $777

- Utilities: $480 

- Groceries: $300* 

- Shopping: $160 

- Gas: $75 

- Restaurants: $50

- Credit cards: $300

*I know!! I'm only one person!! But I am working on a plan of combining coupons and sales. I promise!

These expenses would change in the following way once I become unemployed: 

- Rent: no real change; could take in roommate though to cut all expenses in half

- Utilities: would cut out lawn service, home phone and cable, leading to a drop of $220/mo. 

- Groceries: going down with time commitment and planning 

- Shopping: decrease; even though I still need clothes, I am looking into more cost-effective means [Goodwill, etc.]

- Gas: would decrease without driving to current job across town

- Restaurants: cooking at home 99.9% of time; no more work lunches out since I forget to pack a brown bag

- Credit cards: no change

Yes, I have grappled with the thought of implementing all of these changes now. But I hold out hope that I will not have to make these radical changes in my life just yet. I feel I can cross that bridge when I get there. While I may just be avoiding the inevitable, I can at least cherish what few months I have left with my familiar ever-employed life. And my cable tv. 

Finances

So here's where I stand, financially... 

debts: 

credit cards - $14k (interest rates ranging from 0% to 12.99%)

student loans - $10k (5.25% interest)

assets: 

cash - $7k

401k - $14k

car - used, no payments, little trade-in value

net worth: ($3k)

I recently came clean to my boyfriend about my credit and loan situation. That was a huge step in our relationship, but a much needed one. We were spending way too much together and only digging our debt holes bigger. He abhors debt and really hasn't been underwater at all. That made it harder. Though recently he was struggling with money a bit. Which made the coming clean easier. I figured that if he loved me through and through, he would love me with debt. The judgement comes from within, I know. But also from our family's standpoint, it's just not something to have or even share with others. 

The Background: I would have halved my credit card debt by now and been living on very little cash each week if it weren't for the fact that everyone in the news [read: Suze Orman and other bloggers] is reversing their thoughts on paying down credit. Oh, and it's a grave possibility that I am going to be unemployed soon. I've seen other bloggers call their credit card companies and have temporary six month freezes on interest charges. That's something I am definitely going to look into. I've never been shy about calling up my credit card companies. Now is not the time to be bashful. I learned that from my mom, who would call and ask for late payments and interest payments to be removed off of her cards and would get results. I've also been plotting on how best to use balance transfers if a company doesn't bend to my will. I will have more time once I'm jobless to analyze my plan of attack. For now, those are the numbers. 

Normally, I would want to set goals and plan for my credit to decrease and cash to increase by the end of the year, but I almost don't want to set myself up for failure. Once I have a job secured [working over 90 days], I will take most of my cash and pay down the debt. Then I will plan my numbers for year-end. No use in dawdling with figures with no cash coming in. But then again, I believe procrastination may have gotten me into the financial mess that I am in. And adults don't procrastinate.